Jun remembers the moment when he finally awoke from his long, deep sleep. He remembers waking up to a darkness so heavy that it enveloped him like a thick blanket and he could barely breath for awhile. Instinctively, he had rummaged around and found a wristwatch sitting on the table beside his bed, which will later inform him that it had been 4.30am. In the dark, he had stared at the ceiling and a number of thoughts ran across his mind, some of which would seem ridiculous to most people. For starters, he was wondering where he was. Next, he wondered what had happened before he ended up wherever he was. It took him awhile to later realize he wasn’t sure what his name was, or where he lived.
He wasn’t sure how most people react to a realization like that, but he had been strangely calm. In his mind, instead, were the remnants of a dream he had right before he regained consciousness. In that dream, he was taking his pet elephant out for a walk in the woods. The elephant had been at least ten times his size but was strangely gentle and abiding to him, following him like a shadow. As he walked beside his elephant he was casually stroking its enormous flappy ears and whistling to a familiar tune. Later, he almost trips over and saw that his shoe laces were untied. He kneeled over to retie his laces and upon getting up, he realized he was all alone in the woods, his arms reaching out to emptiness. He had lost his elephant.
The next morning, when Jun woke up, it was to bright yellow walls and the stinging smell of sanitation. A moment later, a doctor was checking his heartbeat and a nurse was taking his temperature. He was advised to stay in bed and was told that his loss of memory was probably temporary; everything else about him was fine except for that broken leg. Jun could only nod. What else could he have said?
For the next few days, all he did was lie in bed, take his medicine and eat his meals. Every night, he has the same dream. And every night, he losses his elephant.
On the third day, a woman in a tight pony tail carrying and a large Prada bag walked into his room. Her heels clicked sharply on the white floors as she made her way to his bed. She dropped herself onto the chair beside him and it was one long uncomfortable minute later before she finally spoke.
“Jun.” She uttered. He was slightly taken back by the distaste in her voice. He took a moment to wonder if this was how his name was usually spoken in the past.
She continues to inform him in a tight voice that she was his sister and she was here only because the hospital had called her up. She didn’t hesitate to hide her dislike for him as she updates him on her knowledge of his situation and brushing it off with a mere “someone will soon come and get you” as if all he lost was his wallet instead of his memory. Her lack of concern was upsetting.
She had left as soon as she arrived, but before letting him on the fact that although they were family, they might as well have been strangers and he had been the one who tore them apart, leaving him wondering what is it exactly he had done that was so unforgiving.
Moments later, a young girl in school uniform turned up at his door with a beaming smile, in her hands a bunch of daisies just slightly less cheery than her smile. She had sat down beside him and held his hands in her own small ones and said: You’ve done all you can to help me get back into school, so I will keep doing well. Similarly, I hope you can stay strong and get well very soon. Let’s work hard together!
Just minutes after she left, a young man just about his age arrived with a large fruit basket. He carefully placed the basket on the table beside his bed and stood a distance away as he spoke to him. Jun learned that this young man was a co-worker and he had came to visit on behalf of his other co-workers. Before he left, he gave a small smile and wished him good health before adding that he hopes he is well enough to come back to work soon. An afterthought, Jun could tell.
For the next 3 days, what followed was a stream of visitors. Friends, acquaintances, ex-lovers and even distant relatives. From each person, he learnt bits of pieces of what and how he had been in the past. Each bit entirely different, yet seemingly similar.
As he sat in hospital bed, he couldn’t help but feel that he was looking at this entire scenario playing out for him from behind a television screen. His mind was busy trying to piece all the memories together while sorting them out, deciding which memories goes where, where they should be stored, what they should be categorized as. He could almost feel those memories slowly building up like a Lego city in his head, only everything is disjointed and disorganized. One piece isn’t fitting nicely with the other, so what he got was a lot of individual blocks, each one disconnected from the rest.
At the end of the third day, the visiting abruptly stops. A headache had crept up on him, and he suddenly notices he was exhausted.
That night, again, he dreamt of taking his pet elephant out for a walk. They were walking next to each other with Jun humming to a familiar tune. Every once in awhile, he will throw a glance towards where his elephant walks to make sure it was still around. That night, the walk seem to stretch on longer than usuals. Then he trips over and he knows that his shoe laces had come untied. He was reluctant to retie those laces, knowing that his elephant will disappear the moment he gets up. But he knows that if he doesn’t, he will keep tripping. Sighing, he bends over and retie those offensive laces knowing there’s not much he can do to change this dream. Much to his surprise, when he was done, his elephant was exactly where he left it.
Jun scratched his head. What exactly has changed? Looking closer, he realized this was a different elephant all along.
